|
I think you folks on the Hangout are beautiful. Thank you a million times.
Now, I think maybe I had better explain a few things. He got a massive stroke 16 years ago. Not expected to live. Me and a black doctor (won't give name) saw to it that he did live. 2 hours, a week, and no chance. That's the odds the medical people gave him. He lived an invalid, and thought very strange, and could not remember much of anything nor move much either and was paralyzed. I brought him home after months in a hospital, and he called me "MOM". I was his mama. I changed his diapers, pushed his wheelchair and fed him. He took all of what I had and more. I knew that I could not do this, but I did it anyway. I sure prayed a lot. That's the ONLY help that I had.
Moved him into an Airstream trailer and sold everything. His wheelchair would not fit in the door, so I told him he had to learn to walk with his crutch. He did. Could go 20 blocks even as he progressed. I didn't like the tin bullet living, but was so very grateful to have it and own my own front door..
Bought this cabin all run down and bad. As a hobby and out of necessity, I rebuilt it...a little at a time and paid for that. I saved, I worked, and we flourished. It's a wonderful place now..a dream of a home to see, and comfy. He did quit calling me "Mom" as I taught him that was not so. He was like a child.
Then brain tumors. There goes the things again...upside down. He didn't do well, and has struggled. I kept him going. I spoiled him rotten as a mom would a child. Occasionally that comes back to bite me.
I pretty much have everything that I want cause I saved. I am content, and he lives on, and with some bad days. We keep going.
I probably need him more than he needs me, cause I need to be needed. It's a curse of mine. I would not know how to deal with a healthy person. I am use to working alone and doing alone and take him everywhere I go. I have Never once taken a side step...no. I am dedicated to my job. He is my job.
The banjo got laid aside due to my illness and depression. Now, I have that back again and am positive, and things are just fine. My worst enemy was ME. I had to work throught that. Lost my friends due to my words when I was just mouthing off...not a good thing. I accept that I was a bear, and very upset and angry. I had been through so much, this diabetes beat me almost.
Now, I am again going great guns and have the energy and hope and all that comes with the Christmas Spirit. And again, I have the banjo. It is a healing thing for me.
Thanks. Just thanks.
I was going to put this on the tail end of another post, but thought better of that idea, and decided to roll it this way.
Nancy
|