Y'all seem to know really well how do deal with the in-laws and the spouse's old friends, and some of y'all have adult children who live far away, so help a guy out if you can:
Well, we're off to WV shortly to visit Mrs. Taco's family and a few old friends back yonder, none of whom have EVER been out west to visit us (though they are mostly retired and have the time and money), and this is our 5th trip back. It is inconvenient and surprisingly expensive to go there, and for what it costs, we could go somewhere really nice. I look forward to much of the trip, but I need some good answers to these questions that are always asked, over and over, and invariably get me murderously angry:
"Have you been looking for a job back here?"
"Are you trying to move closer to here?
"Why can't you move back here and telecommute?"
"Are you coming back at Christmas?"
"Why don't you go to work for ____? Did you ever think of applying at _____?" [insert the obvious places, which of course were the first places I looked after grad school]
The part that makes my blood boil is that everybody knows we left that place ONLY because there was no work to be had, of any kind, and here I am gainfully employed in my own field, so is my wife, and we're prospering and happy. I loved it there, but I had no choice but to leave or starve, literally. We have less reason to try going back there than any of them do for coming here, and I don't want my wife's visit ruined because someone nagged me and that vein in my neck exploded.
So how would you answer your spouse's family, former co-workers, old friends, etc., for the umpteenth time, preferably once and for all? (This being our 5th unrepaid visit back, diplomacy is not a priority in answering these questions. I'm looking for humor, really, but I'd love a good comeback and would settle for a decent "Dear Abby" solution, too.)