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The Supreme Samurai Swordsman of the World

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My apologies to those who have heard/read this one before. (In fact, my apologies to those who haven't.) Anyway, here goes:

The International Samurai Swordsman's Association decided one day that in order to increase the visibility and prestige of their profession they needed to create a new post within their organization entitled "Supreme Samurai Swordsman of the World."  Commensurate with such a weighty decision, they appointed a blue ribbon selection committee which established rigorous judgment criteria and issued a world wide call for applications.

Owing to all the stringent requirements, the committee received only three qualified applications. One entry, not surprisingly, was from a Japanese applicant. A second application came from a highly skilled Chinese swordsman. But a third, most peculiar entry came from a Jewish applicant. The Japanese applicant was admitted first to the committee room where the judges were gathered along one side of a long table. The Chief Judge, a distinguished white-haired Japanese gentleman, addressed the applicant, saying, "Honorable Swordsman, kindly show the committee why you are most deserving of the exalted title of 'Supreme Samurai Swordsman of the World.' "

The applicant bowed. Then he reached into his kimono and produced a match box. He opened the box and a house fly immediately came buzzing out. The sword slid out of the swordsman's scabbard in a blur, and in one deft, continuous motion, the sword struck out with blinding speed and then returned to its sheath in the blinking of an eye.  Two halves of the severed fly fell to the table in front of the Chief Judge.

"Very impressive!" the Chief Judge declared. "We shall carefully review your application, Honorable Swordsman."

The applicant smiled and marched stiffly out of the room. Then the Chinese applicant was admitted. The Chief Judge addressed him, saying, "Honorable Swordsman, we have just witnessed a remarkable feat of skill from the previous applicant. Yet you now have your opportunity to show the committee why you are most deserving of the exalted title of 'Supreme Samurai Swordsman of the World.' "

The second applicant bowed and he also produced a match box from his kimono. He opened the box and as the house fly came buzzing out, the swordsman's blade left his scabbard faster than a cobra strike and executed two graceful if incredibly rapid arcs through the air, then returned fluidly to its scabbard. Four tiny bits of sliced fly floated to the table in front of the Chief Judge. He exclaimed, "Most impressive! We shall carefully review your application, Honorable Swordsman."

The second applicant smiled and marched stiffly out. The committee then waited... and waited, and finally the third and final, Jewish applicant sauntered into the room. Somewhat annoyed, the Chief Judge addressed him, saying, "Honorable Swordsman, some time ago the committee was privileged to witness two incredible demonstrations of sword skill by the other applicants. Yet you now have your opportunity to show the committee why you are most deserving of the exalted title of 'Supreme Samurai Swordsman of the World."

The Jewish applicant bowed, produced yet another match box from his kimono and released a fly. His sword leapt from his scabbard with inhuman speed and executed no fewer than three intricate, speed-blurred maneuvers before vanishing back into its sheath.  The Chief Judge looked down at the table in front of him expectantly, but saw nothing.  Then he heard a faint buzz from behind him. Turning, he saw the fly, still very much alive, bumping against the window, trying to escape. Turning back to the Jewish swordsman, he said, "That's not very impressive. Our first applicant cut a fly in half in mid-air with a single stroke. Our second applicant quartered a fly in mid-air with two strokes!  You have taken three strokes and your fly still lives."

The Jewish applicant bowed apologetically and replied, "Honorable Chief Judge, circumcision is not meant to be fatal."


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